


Learn As You Go

by Januarium



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: 5 Times, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Gossip, M/M, Mennonites, Small Towns, There's a lot of feelings here folks, idk what to tell you, puns, rated t for relatively mild swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25165141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Januarium/pseuds/Januarium
Summary: Ray tuts like Patrick has failed him personally by not yet knowing every person in the town. “Well David and Stevie were together last year and then it all ended so dramatically that David went to live with the Mennonites!”Patrick considers asking whether that’s a euphemism, but he’s not sure he wants to know. Ray’s so clearly expecting him to say something that he asks: “But they stayed friends?”“David and the Mennonites? I’m not sure actually, it’s probably difficult when they don’t have cell phones.”5 times people told Patrick about David and Stevie’s ‘thing’, and one time Patrick told David
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose, Stevie Budd & Patrick Brewer
Comments: 48
Kudos: 287





	Learn As You Go

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to RhetoricalQuestions and Lokifan for being there through the process with this for me and beta'ing.

**1\. Ray**

Patrick hasn’t even met David the first time he learns that he used to have a thing with Stevie. Ray is running Patrick through the schedule for the next day and says, “Ah, and David Rose will be coming in. I’m sure you’ve heard about the Rose family?”

Patrick nods because he has, though it was actually from Ray himself, who had noted them as a feature of the town when Patrick first moved here a month ago.

“Yes, well, apparently David is buying the general store, though I admit I was rather looking forward to Christmas World myself! I guess this is what I get for recusing myself from my position on the town council.”

Ray has managed to work in references to having spent time on the town council into an impressive number of their (many) conversations over the past month.

“So you don’t think he’ll do a good job with the space?” Patrick can’t help but ask. He’s always happy to help anyone with their business, but it’s useful to know when a venture isn't likely to get very far.

“I wouldn’t say that!” Ray exclaims, like he has been gravely insulted by the idea he’d say something so far from nice. “Honestly, I have no idea what he plans to do with it, but he’s a very determined person; Wendy from the Blouse Barn could not speak highly enough of him when he worked there! Though she did go out of business…” Ray shakes his head. “Honestly I have always been impressed that he managed to stay friends with Stevie after their torrid affair.”

A thought flicks through his mind, hearing Ray so casually reference a man being with someone called ‘Stevie’. Does calling it a ‘torrid affair’ imply judgement? He tries to suppress the thought, which is none of his business; he just wants to know if he’s living with a bigot, it’s not a personal thing. Something must show on his face, because Ray continues. “Stevie Budd, the woman who runs the motel?”

Patrick shrugs, pushing away the thought even harder as it’s clearly not even relevant. He'd arranged the room with Ray before moving over so he’s had no reason to visit the motel on the edge of town.

Ray tuts like Patrick has failed him personally by not yet knowing every person in the town. “Well David and Stevie were together last year and then it all ended so dramatically that David went to live with the Mennonites!”

Patrick considers asking whether that’s a euphemism, but he’s not sure he wants to know. Ray’s so clearly expecting him to say something that he asks: “But they stayed friends?”

“David and the Mennonites? I’m not sure actually, it’s probably difficult when they don’t have cell phones.”

Patrick does his best to hold back his laughter. “I, um, meant David and Stevie, actually.”

“Well aren’t you a gossip,” Ray says with a laugh. “But yes, of course they did.”

Patrick wants to argue against both the idea that he was the one gossiping here and how obvious the friendship of two people he’s never met should be to him, but he decides to cut his losses. “That’s great then, any other appointments?”

* * *

**2\. Twyla**

There’s a woman wearing plaid coming out of the cafe when he’s about to go in, so he holds the door open for her. She shoots him a look like she’s suspicious of the gesture before muttering “thanks” and rushing off.

Patrick goes in and sits at the counter, receiving a sunny smile from Twyla who is standing there seemingly building Stonehenge out of pineapple chunks. “Good morning, Patrick! What a pity, you just missed Stevie.”

Patrick frowns. “Good morning Twyla, but I don’t actually know Stevie.” He thinks back to the woman at the door and wonders if that was her.

Twyla frowns at him like he must be confused. “But I thought you were going into business with David?”

It’s literally been a day since Patrick told David he was going to get him the money and yet he somehow isn’t surprised that Twyla already knows about it. He’s spent far too much of the night working on grant proposals because _no way_ is he going to fail at this now, but he got a few hours' sleep and went for a dawn hike this morning.

“That’s right,” he says and feels the excitement burn in his belly. He’s going into business with David, who he barely knows at all, and he kind of wants to tell everyone about it.

“Well, then you’ll need to know Stevie!” Twyla says this like it is self-evident, just a fact of the universe.

Patrick has heard about Stevie, both from Ray and also from a couple of the many tangents in the voicemails David sent him. “Why is that?” he asks, doing his best to pitch his voice like he’s casually curious, rather than desperate for any scrap of information he can get on David Rose.

“They’re best friends!” Twyla frowns slightly. “Well they were seeing each other, back when I was dating Mutt, and Alexis was dating Ted, but then David ran away to join the Mennonites and I think they’ve been friends-only since then.”

Patrick nods like he has any idea who most of those people are. _What is with the Mennonites_ , he thinks, but avoids asking because he suspects that tangent could go on forever. “Well in that case I’m sure I’ll meet Stevie soon!”

Stevie, who is a woman that David used to date, and that information—that they dated and that she’s a woman—seems so much more pressing now that he’s met David. He hates the idea that he can’t stop thinking about the fact that Stevie’s a woman because of any stereotypes David might embody, but any other reason he finds that so compelling is too much to even try and consider right now.

Patrick shakes his head slightly and smiles at Twyla. “So what’s today’s smoothie?”

* * *

**3\. David**

Patrick has been at the store working on paperwork for a few hours by the time David swoops in. He's aware that it’s not actually an ideal place to do this, considering he still has an actual desk back at Ray’s, but likes to tell himself that the camera flashes there are too distracting. If he’s being honest with himself, however, he knows that mostly he just likes being already here at times like this, when David practically starts speaking before he’s through the door.

“You will not believe what my mother has fallen for now!” David begins, before regaling him with the story of Sebastien Raine.

Patrick listens and nods and sympathises and tries so very hard not to focus on the part of himself thinking, _Ah, so he does date men._

“This is why I’m not friends with any of my exes!” David exclaims, at the end of his rant.

“None of them?” Patrick asks and it’s only partially so he doesn’t need to think about his relationship with his exes, or more specifically with Rachel. Mostly, he’s heard a lot from David about Stevie by now and other people in town seem sure there was something there. Maybe they’re wrong?

David’s face does something soft for just a moment before he rolls his eyes, “I mean, there’s Stevie but that was only really a friends-who-fuck thing until it wasn’t. And when it fell apart I thought we were selling the town so I stole Roland’s truck to get away as quickly as possible.”

Patrick blinks and attempts to pick out what exactly David said there because it’s a lot of different information to process there. A huge part of him just wants to drill down on the whole ‘friends-who-fuck’ part, which is why he lets himself blurt out the first thing that isn’t that. “You _stole Roland’s truck_?”

“Mmhm, yes, but to be fair I thought we were going to be rich again and someone would smooth that over for me. Besides which it broke down pretty fast, so I spent three days stuck with the Mennonites.”

“Because you were going to… sell the town.”

“Exactly! Except the guy dropped dead before he could sign and it was a miracle they’d found _that_ buyer in the first place.”

David looks relieved that Patrick gets it even though he really, really doesn’t. He’s heard it alluded to that the Roses own the town but he has no idea what that actually means. He suspects that David won’t give him a clear answer on that, though and there is something else he had assumed was an exaggeration. “And the Mennonites, are they the same ones who make the unisex cologne Alexis wanted to try on me?”

David wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “They were very nice, but I don’t really think they liked me? They did inspire me to find the other people in the local Amish community to have as vendors. None of their butter is as good as Miriam’s, though.”

David gets a thoughtful look and then his eyes sparkle and that’s how Patrick gets talked into driving into the middle of nowhere to try and convince some people with no technology to sell butter to the store, even though vendor relationships have previously been one of David’s areas of expertise. He doesn’t even realise he hadn’t managed to get more information on Stevie until he’s heading home to Ray’s that evening.

* * *

**4\. Ted**

David’s been even more against the idea of a barbecue than the last time they tried it, but at least Patrick spending time with his family isn’t his worry any more. In the months since Mr Rose’s Christmas party he’s actually spent quite a bit of time with them. Patrick has reassured David that he doesn’t have any more secret fiancées to pop out of the woodwork, while feeling extremely shitty that he’s not able to make himself take the chance to talk to David about his parents.

Patrick had a stress dream last night about them turning up, just like Rachel did. He couldn’t relax in the morning until his parents had WhatsApped him pictures of them visiting his cousin Siobhan’s baby and he was _certain_ that them appearing without warning wasn’t a concern, however irrational. He promises himself he’ll talk to David soon, but there's no need for more stress right now.

So far, the barbecue has been great, though the amount of time the charcoal is taking to heat up has David on the edge of hangry. Patrick retreats when he starts arguing with Alexis about which of them had dated Jason Mraz first and leans against the wall of the motel next to Ted. He likes Ted a lot, but sometimes feels like he doesn’t know how to communicate with someone with so little bite to his wit—even always-cheery Ray has a bit of snark in him for Patrick to play off.

They stand in silence just watching as the argument turns and David has clearly said something nice because Alexis gives him one of her signature boops.

“It’s crazy how much they’ve changed,” Ted says. On his face is a version of the same fierce protectiveness Patrick feels for David and his sister and it feels good to know someone else gets it.

“What were they like before?” Patrick’s heard the story of Alexis dating a vet partially just to make Mutt Schitt jealous; that he’d proposed but she said no because they were leaving town, and then she’d slept with Mutt (he still couldn’t believe even Jocelyn and Roland would saddle a person with that name) before finding out they were actually staying. Hearing it before it all sounded as ridiculous and distant as the rest of Alexis’ stories of relationships past. It was weird to think of Ted as one of her string of exes the moment Patrick met him; it’s stranger still now he and Alexis are back together and seem to work so well.

“They were so tense. Especially David, but Alexis too, even if she hid it better. I didn’t really get it until later, but it was like every word he said was rehearsed.”

Part of Patrick wants to joke about how it might be nice if David thought more before he spoke these days, but it wouldn’t be funny because the idea is actually horrible. He’s seen glimpses of that David, mostly around their last family barbecue, and it was awful.

“There was this one dinner party; I wanted to get to know Alexis’ friends but it was such a disaster. I accidentally told everyone that David and Stevie, you know.” Ted makes a succinct hand gesture to illustrate what they did before his eyes widen in panic. “Um, I mean.”

Patrick chuckled, “Don’t worry, that Stevie and David used to be together is the third fact Ray told me about him after his name and that he was buying the general store.”

Ted smiles in relief. “You’d think he’d be better at minding his own _business_ , considering he has so many!”

Patrick can’t help but laugh at the joke. “So what happened at the dinner party?”

“Nothing really, it was just super awkward. _Everything_ was awkward for a while, which I tried to fix by proposing.” Ted says it like it’s funny, rolling his eyes at himself, but Patrick’s too familiar with that technique to fake a laugh. “I feel like one of the only times I actually had a real conversation with her back then was when she tried to get me to be mean. She told me the Roses see being nice as a sign of weakness.”

Patrick chuckles, because he never thought about it that way but it definitely applies. “How’d that go, being mean?” It’s hard to imagine.

Ted gives him a look somewhere between sly and nervous. “I told her that David’s pretentious.”

Patrick laughs full out at that. “I told David that the second time I met him and he still thinks I’m nice.”

Ted gives him a grin. “You sure you want to trust him to say who’s nice?”

Patrick snickers; apparently Ted has more of a bite than he thought. “You got me there.”

There’s a little silence before Ted adds, “I think she sees now that being mean is overrated.”

Patrick nods at that, he sees it in David too: the drive to attempt to be not just a ‘good’ person, but a ‘nice’ one. “It’s good now?” He’s pretty sure it is, but he has to check. He doesn’t want Alexis or Ted stuck in the cycle he was with Rachel.

Ted grins. “The difference is un- _grill_ -lieveable!”

Patrick clinks his beer bottle against Ted’s and grins right back. “I’m glad. You guys are really barbe- _cute_ together!”

The terrible pun is absolutely worth it for Ted laughing like maybe now they’re friends, not just two people dating a pair of siblings.

They settle back to watching their partners, now joined by Stevie, who says something that makes David huff and Alexis reach up a floppy wrist for a high five.

“It was awkward with them, too.”

“Hm?” Patrick asks, distracted by the joy of watching David be teased by his best friend and his sister, even if he can’t hear what’s being said.

“David and Stevie. When I heard they’d got together I assumed it would be perfect for them, but when I actually saw them it was… not great. I don’t know much about what happened there; David going off to Amish country was kind of the beginning of the end for me and the Rose family for a while, but they are obviously so much happier as friends.”

Patrick smiles. It’s not a reassurance he needs, but it’s still good to hear. He watches as Johnny standing by the grill starts to look nervous. “Okay, guess I’d better go check on that before Mr Rose sets fire to something he shouldn’t.” He catches Ted’s eye and can’t resist adding, “It was great to _ketch_ -up!”

* * *

**5\. Stevie**

Sometimes Patrick feels overwhelmed by the thought that not only does he get to spend his life with David, but somehow he managed to get a share in having Stevie as a best friend out of the deal. The first time David goes to visit Alexis after she moved away from Schitt’s Creek is one of those times.

They’d hoped to go together, but couldn’t make it work with the store. David offered to wait, but they’d only seen Alexis once since she’d left after the wedding, when they hosted Christmas for both families at the cottage. His husband may claim to be above it all, but Patrick knows how desperately David misses his sister when she’s not around.

All of which leads to Patrick and Stevie spending Sunday night deep in a bottle of whisky and watching Christine Sinclair lead the Canadian Women’s Soccer team to victory in a friendly against England. It’s the only sport Stevie actually enjoys watching and while David doesn’t hate it as much as some sports, he usually gets bored after ten minutes of being the only one in the room who can appreciate their thighs in the shorts. That Patrick and Stevie tend to sit in silence for the majority of the ninety minutes makes David fidget all the more, and means it’s not a great group activity for them.

David left Saturday morning and Patrick appreciates how Stevie has managed to practically attach herself to him since. He’d thank her if that weren’t likely to make her close off and deny it. They can get drunk tonight because the store is closed on Mondays, which is also a day Stevie always has off, though she claims that’s a coincidence, too.

It’s not like they never spend time alone together, but usually David is on the periphery. Over the past couple of days, Patrick has realised that they haven’t really had dedicated time for just the two of them since Cabaret. Seeing the way David and Stevie interact is one of the great joys of his life, but hanging out with her one-on-one is special in a different way. He can talk to her about David in a way he can’t with anyone else.

Which is probably why as the match ends he takes a sip from his glass and says, “I know he’s coming back.”

Stevie just hums and wiggles the toes she’s had tucked under his leg for the better part of an hour.

Patrick takes a deep breath, lets himself get these thoughts out of his head. “I know he’ll come back, but what if he regrets it?”

They’re quiet for a while. Patrick knows she’ll reply when she’s ready and he’s happy to give her that time, like she gives it to him.

“You know he asked me to move to New York with him?” She says eventually.

Patrick nods, “Yeah, I know he was expecting we’d all just move there together—“

“No,” Stevie interrupts him. “I mean, you’re right, that time he just assumed. This was years ago; we’d been hooking up for a while and I was falling for him, but he’d stopped it. That was the time they came so close to selling the town and… he asked me to move to New York with him.”

Patrick nods carefully and moves his hand to hold her ankle gently, hoping it’s a comfort but not so much that she’ll pull away from it. He’s heard about Stevie and David's past relationship, but never like this. He’d never known that she was _falling for him_. Not that he could blame her. “What did you say?”

She laughs in a way he knows means she’s reliving an old wound. One that has healed, but you always remember. “I was so fucking happy. I was fully on board right up until the moment he said he’d found us a beautiful _two_ -bedroom in the East Village.”

Patrick winces. He can’t imagine that, or rather he doesn’t want to because he _did_ imagine that too many times early in his relationship with David. That he would get swirled up in the whirlwind of David’s attention, but David wouldn’t feel it the same way. It’s hard to know what to say that won’t be too trite, harder still not to break the mood with a joke. He goes for being honest. “That must have really fucking sucked.”

He meets her eyes and she smiles in a way that lets him know he pitched it right. Stevie finishes her drink with a flourish and says, “It absolutely fucking did!” She looks down before she continues speaking. “I told him I couldn’t go because I _liked-him_ liked-him and the next thing I knew he was in hiding with the Mennonites.”

With anyone else, Patrick might think this was their way of confessing their unrequited love for his husband, or possibly some sort of “I had him first” power-play, but he knows that’s not what Stevie’s getting at here. He tugs on the ankle he’s still holding slightly so Stevie moves her feet out from under him and he turns to sit cross-legged on the sofa facing her. She reaches over to the table to get the whisky and refill both their glasses before putting her feet in his lap.

It’s something new to hear the story this way. For David to go out on a limb and invite her to go with him must have been _such_ a big deal for him. As well as he knows David now, he is sure the rejection of the offer of friendship must have stung him as badly as the romantic rejection had stung Stevie. He’s fiercely grateful their connection made it through.

“Anyway, that was not the point of that story,” Stevie says, shooting him a look like he’d tricked her into spilling as much as she has. “The point is, even then I don’t think he really wanted to move back there, it was just what he was _supposed_ to want to do.”

Patrick nods, thinking of the way David had acted the previous year. “It was an inevitability.” He rolls his eyes. “The sun will rise, the sun will set, David Rose will move back to New York City.”

Stevie grins and he is so glad to have her. He wouldn’t joke about David’s dramatic nature in quite this way in front of most people, especially without David there, and he’d get pissed to see them agree so thoroughly if he did. Stevie, though, sees David in a way that Patrick sometimes thinks even he has yet to achieve.

“Exactly! I honestly felt like I’d gone back in time when he started talking about it again last year. Sure, his grand plans involved a store and a husband this time, but they still didn’t involve him actually making a _choice_ to do it. To make a choice you have to actually consider the options.”

That bit of insight cuts through Patrick, who spent far too much of his life not doing the amount of introspection required to actually make the choice until he finally blew up his life so he could. He knows Stevie knows that about him, just like he knows that she was doing a version of that with Larry Air last year.

“He made the choice, Patrick.” Her eyes are serious and it reminds him of how she looked as Sally Bowles, baring her soul to an audience. It touches him deeply to be trusted with this side of her off-stage.

“He made the choice,” he repeats.

There’s a pause while they just sit there sipping their drinks before Stevie adds, “Besides, why would he want to move there when I live here?”

Patrick laughs. “I’m sorry, I thought you were trying to reassure me he’d _want_ to come back?”

Stevie flips him off. “I mean, I could be entirely wrong and we’ll wake up to a text saying he’s leaving us for the Olsen twins.”

Patrick nods very seriously. “Well, who could begrudge him that? We’ve all heard his speech on why It Takes Two is actually far superior to Lindsey Lohan’s Parent Trap remake.”

Stevie gestures, sloshing her drink. “Exactly! We knew we couldn’t be his Mary-Kate and Ashley forever.”

“I’m Mary-Kate, though, right?”

Stevie scoffs, “Excuse me, but you are _obviously_ Ashley. I’m Mary-Kate.”

Patrick laughs and squeezes Stevie’s ankle. “Okay, okay, you can be Mary-Kate. Now let’s take a selfie to show David how much fun we’re having without him.”

Stevie points at him forcefully with the hand not holding her glass, which is nearly empty again. “See? Ideas like that are why I keep you around, Patrick Brewer-Rose.”

* * *

**+1. The Mennonites**

David’s surprised that Patrick has let him get away with avoiding the Mennonites who had taken him in when he ran away from Schitt’s Creek. He’d half expected Patrick to refuse, back when David first suggested he not only handle this contract, but that they try to keep David’s name completely out of it. He now sees that back then Patrick would absolutely have bent his morals a little for something David asked him to do, but sadly at the time he didn’t appreciate how relatively biddable Patrick was.

Over the past year, however, whenever Patrick's had to do these vendor collections and visits by himself despite all the other ones being a split responsibility, it has come up. That David always found a way to do all the other Amish country runs so he could get extra peanut butter squares to send to Alexis, while still avoiding _this_ family, made it all the worse. Even David actually owning up to how embarrassed he still kind of felt about the whole thing, which had involved lots of unattractive emotional honesty, had only bought him so much time.

Which is why he’s not too surprised that one day, when he’s not paying much attention where they’re going, he looks up to find Patrick driving them towards a familiar farm house.

“Mm-mm nope, what do you think you’re doing?” He says, because he has to at least try.

“Well, you see I accidentally let slip that my husband especially loved their oatcakes and Miriam was very offended I hadn’t brought him to meet them yet.”

“You _accidentally_ let slip?”

Patrick parks the car and turns to him. “It’s not my fault I just want to talk about you all the time.”

David rolls his eyes, but he can feel a smile trying to peek out.

“I could leave you in the car and have lunch with them all alone. Even though they said there would be a new flavour of whoopie pie for us to try.”

“Whoopie pie?” Curse Patrick’s awareness of all David’s weaknesses.

Patrick smiles like he knows he’s won, but then softens it and takes David’s hand. “All our other vendors love you. What’s-her-name who makes that candy you’re obsessed with—”

“—Susannah.” David drops in, because he can’t help himself. He feels he’s being pretty restrained by not pointing out that actually his _sister_ is the one obsessed with her candy. David is merely… Infatuated.

Patrick rolls his eyes. “Yes, Susannah; she likes you so much she convinced her father to get her a cell phone for ‘business’ calls so that she can keep you up to date on the relationship drama among her goat herd. It’ll be okay.”

David twists his lips and nods. “Fine. But only for the whoopie pies.”

“Of course,” Patrick replies, giving him a brief kiss before they get out of the car.

It goes better than David feared. Mostly because apparently Miriam knows Susannah, and had found out from her _exactly_ who Patrick’s business partner/husband was. Her father still looks at him in a stern way that makes David feel the need to nervously say, “I just want to thank you so much for taking me in a few years ago. It was a hard time for me, I was...” He trails off, it’s too embarrassing to say he threw a fit because he didn’t get his way.

Patrick is standing next to him, a steady hand on his back. “He was going through a rough patch with his best friend. They’ve figured things out now,” he says, sounding absolutely sincere in a way David can hardly stand. Like it’s that straight-forward, and maybe it is? Patrick gives an almost sad smile. “I appreciate you looking after him.”

David blinks, at Patrick’s words and at the way the imposing man suddenly has a look of understanding in his eyes. “Ah yes, that can be very difficult,” he says with a nod.

Things are a whirlwind from there. It turns out with a few year’s distance and a good night’s sleep he and Miriam get along well enough that there is a page of David’s notebook full of new ideas for products for the store by the time they leave, along with the whoopie pies which they are _absolutely_ stocking.

When they get back into the car Patrick gives him a long kiss. “Thank you for doing that.”

“Thank you for making me,” David replies, knowing that it will bring out Patrick’s smug smirk. “But if you spring something like this on me again I will log into your fantasy baseball team and change your picks based on who has the best uniform.”

“Of course,” Patrick says as he pulls out of the driveway, looking utterly unrepentant.

As they drive David thinks about what Patrick said about him and Stevie. It’s not something he’s told him about in detail, so he wonders who did. It doesn’t matter though, what matters is that Patrick understands him, even the things he didn’t understand himself. He usually tries to avoid thinking of that whole situation, how much he had hurt Stevie. Sure, she’d rejected his friendship, but he’d rejected her romantically, and he’d figured that was automatically worse.

David’s only got a few years of experience of having friends. It never occurred to him before that going through shit with them is as much of a reason to do stupid things as break ups are. Maybe more of one. Enough of a reason to make an imposing Amish man look at him with kind eyes.

Sometimes David hates that he spent so long with such a bullshit idea of friendship, but if he hadn’t maybe he wouldn’t have been able to connect to Stevie the way he did. She’s worth all the decades it took to understand what friendship should be. Which is a disgustingly sappy thought, _ew_.

He considers saying some of this to Patrick, but that’s a conversation for late night, when it’s dark and safe and they should be asleep but can’t stop talking. “We should stop for ice cream,” is what he says instead.

“Seriously, David? You had four whoopie pies!”

David just shrugs and Patrick grumbles as he pulls in beside the roadside ice cream truck.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr post](https://januarium.tumblr.com/post/623174197414330368/learn-as-you-go-januarium-schitts-creek)


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